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December 09, 2014

THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE.

pink color combo art collage moodboard

Here we are, in the home stretch of 2014 and I'm ending the year with a bang. This past year has been one of my roughest years yet.  It was full of big decisions and it seemed like every time I turned around, I was standing at a crossroad. I'm ashamed that I haven't posted much here throughout the year, but my personal life seemed to take over instead. 

My most recent heartbreak was about 3 1/2 weeks ago.  I said goodbye to my favorite creature and best furry friend, my black lab, Abbie. Unfortunately I've lost many people throughout my life but losing her has been the most difficult.  I know she didn't speak my language, but she understood me more than any human has. She filled my life with so much unconditional love and joy everyday.  She was a silly, little dog and her goofy personality was priceless.  As hard as it is to wake up everyday without her, I'm honored that she chose me to be her dog mom for the past 14 years.  I will continue to imagine her running free and healthy in bright fields of flowers while her ears flop around in the wind.  

Abbie wasn't the only one facing health issues this past year, but I've struggled with severe anxiety as well, for the first time in my life.  I thought if I continued my normal, addictive, workaholic behavior that my anxiety would somehow magically disappear, but the harsh reality hit me pretty hard.

No matter how much I love the hustle of la la land, the noise of it all started to take its toll on me. I hope to open up and share a bit more of my personal story and struggles in the coming new year, it seems that my pride has always gotten in the way.  If I've learned one thing with all of this, it's that the more I open up to people, the more easier it is.  I'm not one to ask for help, but I know if I would of this past year, I might of been reminded that I'm only human and I'm not alone in this big race to the finish line.  Why are we racing anyways?  What prize are we trying to win? Life shouldn't be a competition, but no matter how much we tell ourselves that, it's easy to get caught up in the game.  

I have hope that this move big move back to Las Vegas will allow me to heal again and grow.  I just moved into my beautiful, new home 2 weeks ago and I haven't been able to wipe this silly grin off my face, so that must be a good sign.  As I write this post from my new (super cute!) home office, I'm filled with overwhelming gratitude. I've been welcomed back home with open arms from old friends and family and big bear hugs from new friends.

2015 will be filled with exciting opportunities, blog expansions (YAY!) and belly laughs for days. I have hope that things are exactly as they should be and my heart is open for new adventures!

xoxo
Bree


{HOPE art print by yellena}


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